as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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