I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to have your abortion
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
