we're making bets on your personal life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
