By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
