So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
