I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
