i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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