On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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