that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
