I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
