Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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