My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
