How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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