he wants to bone in the snuggie
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
