Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
