I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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