Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
