You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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