The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
