I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
