Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
