I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
