can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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