Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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