You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
