I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
