remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
