And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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