Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
