I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
