Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
