butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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