I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
