oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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