He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
