Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
