I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
