Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
