I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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