shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
