Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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