jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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