if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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