He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
