Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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