His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
