I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
