He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
