i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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