how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
