Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
